The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
