my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
