I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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