Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
