I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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