I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
40s are totally the cure
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
