Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
