those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
