it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
