I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
