Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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