Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
