I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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