I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
