If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
