WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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