so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
