i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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