I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Im part way to drunk.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
