Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
