Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
