Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
