Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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