I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
