life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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