dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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