I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
