Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
