you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
