I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
