The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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