so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
