In the future we'll all be gay
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
