you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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