I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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