Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
