u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
