if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
