The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
