For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
