i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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