RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
