I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
