Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
