I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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