She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
