What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
