I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
