help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
