How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
