And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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