too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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